After a 10 month hiatus, I decided that I should update my blog rather than do work that desperately needs to be done. Consider yourselves lucky that finding affordable housing for low income folks is currently taking the back burner to updating you on my life.

I'm going to write a novel.

What this book will be called is anyone's guess.

Maybe that's a good name of vampire novel set in a fictional medieval continent?

Shame may prevent me from actually using my given name as the author. I'm currently thinking of a solid nom de plume.

Part of me wants it to be funny. Another part of me wants it to draw you in. There is a disturbingly large part of me that wants to show you how much of a pervert I really am. Then again, the side of me that wants to show readers how much of a pervert and all around disagreeable person I am is warring with the side of me that desires approval from all around him. All of me wants it not to suck.

It takes years to write books. The last thing that you would think someone with as severe ADHD as me would do is be disciplined enough to write a... SQUIRREL...novel.

Additionally, I feel that I have not read nearly enough literature to justify writing something of value.

There is large portion in me that fears seeing what is in my head on paper. Worse yet, knowing that what's on paper is actually being read, critiqued, laughed at, disgusted by and enjoyed by others. The ideas floating around in there should probably remain there. Or plastered to my therapists figurative walls. Either or. It seems that in my past, revealing how I feel has not always been met with the best of results. In fact, it's made things worse. This makes me feel worse. Aren't we all told that we should be more open about how feel?

No.

This is a very bad idea.

The only people that should hear how you honestly feel about anything should have letters after their name and should be qualified to hear the conversation. Or maybe that's just me.

Wow. Going back and reading what I just wrote makes me seem much more upset, jaded and self deprecating than I actually am.

I really just want to write a book and I'm having some trouble getting started.