Meg and I were driving to work this morning to work while listening to NPR. The sky is overcast. Light drizzle covers the windshield in just enough moisture to warrant the occasional wiper blade sweep. We’re driving in two lane traffic on a road that follows the river, which is to our left. With spring peeking its head around the corner, I can see leaves on trees trying to make their case for life. A warm voice croons over the radio about a recent law being passed in Iowa that will make it a criminal offense for undercover environmental activists to release secretly taken pictures and videos of farm abuses, particularly poultry, swine and cattle. As the story concludes, Meg turns to me and says that she’s bothered by that last report. I ask her why. Unexpectedly, she tells me that the radio announcer’s voice is way too sexy to be giving news like this. I chuckle lightly to myself and ask her what she means. She repeats that, in her opinion, the voice discussing the living conditions of poultry on mass production farms is way too sexy. In her mind, I guess, when you’re giving bad news, you shouldn’t have a voice that sultry. I feel that it’s just NPR’s attempt to soften the blow. Meg, on the other hand, feels otherwise. Using a husky & breathy voice, while mocking NPR’s Kathleen Masterson, she quips “yeah, these chickens are being abused, but I’ll still suck your dick.” I’m now laughing uncontrollably at her interpretation of Morning Report. Meg continues by saying that it’s like Kathleen’s telling you something this awful news, but is taking her clothes off simultaneously.
We’re both cracking up. She turns to me how much she hates how immature I am. She also reminds me of how often I crack up at previews for this new show Comedy Central called “Workaholics” and how much she hates it. In the scene, one of three guys is sitting in his office in a grizzly bear jacket fit with pseudo-bear paws and a hood with bear ears on top. He’s surrounded by his friends. Then, while pumping his “paws” out back and forth, like a very wack rapper from the 80’s, says “bitch, betta have my honey”. I’m ashamed by how funny I find this, yet I also find myself on the floor, cracking up for at least 2 minutes. Meg, clearly annoyed with my laughing, rolls her eyes and walks out of the room.
I love the fact that she gave me this gem of a one liner to blog. I told her that I would blog about it later this morning after I got to work. Thanks Meg.
